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| 09:10pm 26/06/2006 |
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mood:  contemplative music: Jeremy Camp
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i haven't used this in forever... well actually any of my journals. No blurty, which was the one i used the most. It's been kinda weird not having something to just vent all my problems to. I guess i've chosen more people to take care of that job, which may not have been a smart move.
Things are interesting. It's summer thankfully and I'm just trying to live that up..... reading tons of books, the beach, seeing the boyfriend, ya know... the usual. haha. I don't have an official for the job for the summer. a plus for me and babysitting is the main thing i'm doing. I have this one family i'm babysitting for a lot and the 6 year old girl is CRAZY and it's kinda bad. exhausting to the max.
I really should be reading my pol science for class at west chester tomorrow. Just trying to get POL Sci 101 credit out of the way for education. It's one of those things I'd rather take NOT at Gburg. SPeaking of the Burg, I'm actually catching myself looking forward to this next year. I feel like it'll be completely different from last year yet more busy (which may kill me). I love being involved but i always book myself up like crazy. Probably not good for my stress level and could easily produce anxiety attacks. Yeah, they arent fun. I started talking to the boy about how involved with school i'm going to be next semester and he just got so upset. He didn't really know what to say expect that he hates whats going to happen. I just talked about how its going to be even harder after spending more time with each other and everything to break up at the end of the summer... but maybe not because we are both leaving for completely new places. I just told him that if he really did want to change his mind and break up before the end, it'd be a good time with me going to Mexico on Friday. 8 days for me to think... and no phone calls.
I'm so excited to go. It'll be great to get to know people better since its such a smaller group. I can not wait until I see Marisol!!!! I'm going to cry when I see her. Can't believe its been over a year since I've been down there. I hope I've grown and changed in a good way. DUDE can't wait to use the spanish!!!!
well i just wanted to type up a quick update. Don't really feel like discussing the whole freshman college experience. It came, it went, it's over. sigh.
Baby had the Blue Gold game on Saturday night... his team won... blue. It was great... minus him popping out his other shoulder. He was in so much pain and i felt horrible.
i don't feel so good so i'm going to attempt to continue reading.
In christ,
Em |
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| 06:58pm 08/08/2005 |
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Everything is going to change when I go to college.
part of me is soo excited and part of me is wondering if all my morals and values will change....
in the mean time, i'll just enjoy the excitement of anticipation.
tomorrow will be awesome to meet a good amount of new people. |
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| 09:51pm 06/08/2005 |
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mood:  confused
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one of my closest friends didn't talk to me today and i haven't seen 'em in forever
brian completely forgot about telling me he didnt go to south pacific so we could've hung out but he decided to see other people when we had semi plans for tonight.
one of my best friends wouldnt say i love you back to me and said he'd "talk about it later" - one of those things ROAR
and everyone was acting weird tonight.
and i got bashed for using the phone too much or something. wtf
nothing like being let down by friends. |
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| 01:27pm 05/08/2005 |
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so i'm deciding to write on livejournal instead of blurty cause there are a few things that i don't people to have immediate access to since i have the link on my profile.
Some people just piss me off and some people i'm confused with how they "care about me" but it turns out they care about getting ass.
it's been an interesting few days with ryan and eddie. I love how i went to see eddie and i had really missed him and just i wanted to see him but for some reason something clicked and i thought i should just make out with him. i dont know if i wanted to cause i was bored or i wanted attention or his parents werent home or what. it was right after i had finished reading that great book and i was in such a confident mood about my actions and they were shot to hell when i hooked up with him. It was just stupid and i ended up hooking up with him, not making out cause i freaked myself out and yeah, he actually was like Em what are you doing? so i quickly left and i actually felt like id have a panic attack and got in my convertible and went home.
Later that night ryan calls and i've been half avoiding him and i really dont know why. It might be becuase hes a cocky bastard but for some reason i'm attracted to guys with huge egos... but his is just disgusting at times. He's still a friend no matter what and heck you know last summer we even hooked up so its not weird that we are attracted to each other i just hate how he acts on it. He's been gone most of the summer so he came over and we went out to ritas and i got amazing rasp lemonade. And he was like trying to get me to kiss him by kissing me on the cheek and asking me why i didnt want to kiss him and its just weird with him. He MAKES IT WEIRD. pisses me off. So i thought he was joking but he was like lets go skinny dipping and i was like ok. haha but joking, well he pulled up at the pool and parked and just put on random songs and attempted to hook up with me and grab my boobs and i was like EXCUSE ME heck no and if you cant respect that, then you cant respect me. yeah it was weird. randomly he left and drove up the street to my house and i offered to hang out on the deck or the gazebo on the course and he didnt want to do anything except sit in the god damn car and do nothing except listen to music. i was like you are stupid. so i was like uhh im leaving soo i did. what a fucked up night.... make that a fucked up day.
and then seeing the Cottars on wednesday night was freaking amazing. and then Eddie called me and told me he was kinda in a car accident last night and so im really glad he's okay. this fucking idiot was parked in the fucking left lane just waiting for someone to hit him because theyd be charged with independent driving. And two of his friends were behind him so he braked like 5 inches before he hit the guy and then obviously domino effect... the last guy hit the second and hit him. but yeah, his car is okay because its huge and everyone is fine.
kerry came home yesterday and i had work and then tim and matt came in to work and i told 'em id come over to matt's house and go swimming later so i went over there and then matt had to finish this paper for an english course so tim and i talked in the pool and he randomly asked me to take a shower with him and i was like uhhh with clothes right? and he was like heck no Em and i was like lord boys fucking suck. so while tim took a shower i got to sit in the amazing movie theatre of matt's which was great. It's sooo nice i love it. and then tim and i left and he wanted me to come back to his house cause his rents were gone and im like uhhhh no, i gotta be home soon. so i left and it has just been crazy. especially sean asking me for coffee... yes a 34 year old man gave me his number expecting me to call him to go out. and he even knows im 18. sigh.
some boys are either cool or fucking horny bastards.
i can't wait for gburg.
and to see nick. just cause.
the end. |
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| the best experience of my life to this date |
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| 09:22pm 27/03/2005 |
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I'm back from Mexico. and i wish i could only have words to describe the trip. Everything about it took my breath away. i loved the kids, the scenery, my high school friends, the staff at the orphange, the town, the view, the ocean, the 2 dogs, the stupid chickens, the rundown house, the cement machine, the dorms, the kitchen where i rolled 600 tortillas with people, the church we went to, the people i met, the stupid school buses where we fit 2 people in a one person seat at all times and had chairs in the aisles, the little store, all the spanish signs... including my fav the stop sign that has "ALTO" ???, my mini me and my best friend who is a 12 year old that was abandoned - Marisol. The way i feel about Marisol is like she is my little sister and sometimes like my daughter... I love her so much. The days that i spent there were some of the best days of my life. Everyone was taught a lesson there. Everyone after that experience knew what it was like to have a child need you, to want you and to have someone show you more unconditional love than you every thought was imaginable. I knew i would be emotional on this trip, i knew i would be upset with the poverty and i was so excited to help them and to serve them. But the first thing that was stated when we got there besides "Welcome" (obviously in spanish though) was "we are here to serve you". Little did i know how this played out. We learned so much in 8 days about ourselves, our relationships, and our spiritual life. I've never truly been able to picture heaven but with Matt Hoerner stating what he did the last night, the orphanage is exactly how i picture heaven... with that type of love at all times. Sigh. i miss it so much already. I'm hoping i can go back after college and do what Jon did, spend a year there. It's so amazing. I learned how to be a kid again... playing with those children you really get so attached. Don't get me wrong, we had some drama since 4 boys decided it be cool to order Margaritas at the bar in Ensenada and it was huge. The whole group had to decide whether to send them home or not. they broke the rules... but we all wanted themto stay cause they would get so much out of the trip. and they truly did. their punishment was to work out on the back fields... and they did and they realized so much. Phil told us that night about how close he had felt to god that day working out in the fields and he told us he'd been struggling with pot. He smoked it so much and he realized he just couldn't do it anymore. He'd been putting it before god and he didnt want to anymore. I was so proud of him and he said he has no doubt about him changing his mind or anything... he's really going to follow through. God i wish i could tell everything about the trip but i need to do some stuff and sleep since i have pretty bad jet lag and i got sick on Tuesday when i was down there.
Getting pictures developed tomorrow... 4 disposable cameras worth. im so freaking excited to see the ones with marisol, ximena, emma, all the ones from church, the scenery, Cuando cristianos bailan - which is my favorite song and doing it with the kids was priceless, ones with all my friends and AHHHH can't wait!!!!!!! will have 'em all up on webshots this week.
Good news about colleges... well at least one. |
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| can i tell ya something.... |
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| 09:24am 18/02/2005 |
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mood:  aggravated
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I miss Will.
A lot... so I tried to forget about it this past weekend. Yeah, it's not how i should be handling my problems but it just seemed the way to go last weekend.... I realized it wasn't the way to go when he kissed me Sunday and hasn't really talked to me.
I feel like it's another fucking dylan. Boys need to know what they want... it's quite pitiful if you ask me. and I'm done... I'm sick of being dragged through everything and though i miss Will, I can't go back out with him for the 3rd fucking time because the kid won't make up his mind. No, no way... it's over.
time for new and better things.
I'm sorry if the way I got over him wasn't what you all expected of me. I'm sorry if just hooking up with a boy is some slutty action....
thanks for thinking less of me and i'm so glad you have really been there for me.
did i mention i hate two faced people?
now i did.
make up your mind of what you want to think about me. |
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| 09:09pm 14/02/2005 |
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01] Reply with your name and I will write something about you.
[02] I will then tell you what song/BAND reminds me of you.
[03] Next, I will tell you who you remind me of, celebrity/animated or otherwise.
[04] Last, I will try to name a single word that best describes you.
[05] Put this in your journal. |
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| 10:53pm 03/02/2005 |
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wanted to update for everyone to see one of the new icons.
this is my life in an icon about now.
funny part is it looks like me too.
im so fucking scared.
i'm all alone. |
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| shes gone but forever in my heart..... |
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| 07:46pm 19/01/2005 |
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Everything has been different after yesterday at 7 52PM. My grandmother passed away yesterday afternoon around 1 20 and i found out after i came home from play practice.
It's not sinking in really. Yeah, i've cried and stuff but i dont feel like everything is really hitting home
random things keep falling into place pertaining to the loss and it comforts me. Like just knowing that my grandmom is with her husband and her brothers and sisters is one that is comforting. She must be reading to little kids now and probably is starting to grow a huge flower garden in heaven.
God i miss her.
she taught me how to read. I remember her old house and i remember her taking me around her neighborhood in a red wagon and i remember my snoopy and i remember her voice whenever she got a present or was surprised and i can just replay that tons of times in my mind. She was probably the most generous and caring person i've ever met and i will never forget her as long as i live.
the ring on my finger now has a completely different additional meaning in a way. It's like knowing that i have a guardian angel up above who is truly watching over me. I can't believe she's gone though.
i'm starting to choke up..... and soon there will be tears rolling down my face.
what a wonderful person that i have been blessed with in my life.
I love her.
She is my role model.
I can't be selfish though by wanting her to stay with me on earth.
Besides, God couldn't pass up on one of the most amazing people the world has been blessed with.
He had to take her home. |
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| "i dont like it when juice wears tights..... dont touch me you drink" HAHAHAHA |
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| 05:54pm 11/01/2005 |
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mood:  determined music: my printer
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can i state that ap bio was the most fucking hardest thing you will ever even look at in your entire life?
yeah it was fucking hell.
it was an okay day though. dont know why my stupid music list for my auditions are printing though... ive tried 4 times. ROAR. AHHHH finally this thing is working!
I have to study tons for spanish but thats it since i can't study for AP English.. which is refreshing.
man it was an interesting day.
thank god i got to party it up with missa and go shopping. got awesome stuff for great prices. im the best bargain hunter. its pathetic.
cant wait to get the stuff i ordered from amazon.
so much shit to do.
after dinner doing a slurpee (squishy) run with chris bell!
HOLLER.
night yall.
comment bitches! haha love you! |
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| to whom it may concern |
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| 08:40am 10/01/2005 |
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i feel like fucking shit.... well better than fucking shit because fucking shit was what i felt earlier this morning. you know whats the worst... throwing up nothing... because there is nothing in your stomach. god i hate being a fucking girl and this making me sick.. roar
so my mom is being a bitch about it. "well you are still going into school and bring a plastic bag with you" and all that stuff.
i have to come in for my english project, spanish dot day, and physics review. just lovely.
weekend was pretty good. Hung out with Will friday night and sat night. It was awesome. He told me some really important things that made me cry... good cry that is so no one worry. But yeah, i freakin love him. He's the bestest. not even kidding though. i just started crying sat night and was like im so worried, whats going to happen, all that and he was like - honey just dont worry. i love you. you know that. you are seriously my first love. so please dont say you are going to worry.
it was really sweet. Finally watched napoleon dynamite.. or well most of it. only the funny parts everyone quotes sooo i knew all the funny parts.
church was good last night. thats like all that i did besides uhh somewhat study (yeah right) and went to Joanne Fabrics and got yarn for will's scarf.
i was in a weird mood last night though and i just wasn't happy. i cried last night.
found out my grandmom isn't doing that well. at all. |
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| im so fucking excited!!!!!!!!!! |
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| 11:31pm 01/01/2005 |
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mood:  ecstatic
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WILL COMES HOME TOMORROW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i'm sorry... im just REALLY excited. its like awesome... like super dooper awesome. minus the freaking play practice. i REALLY dont want to go. i hate the show this year. im terrible.
the end.
ahhh i hope things are just perfect between us and it isnt weird or anything.. i dont think it will. theres only like a 1 percent change. well maybe 5 but thats pushing it.
im off to bed because im freaking sick of bio... i hate it.
note to all juniors: DONT TAKE AP BIO... ITS HELL AND YOU'LL HATE IT ONCE YOU'RE IN IT. labs everyday fucking sucks and shes the hardest grader and its the worst class. im not doing anything with science yet im taking the freaking course... i hate the class. cant express how much i detest and loath it... |
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| Progres report from last years resolutions |
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| 10:05pm 31/12/2004 |
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so i decided to whip out my last years resolutions which were conviently on blurty:
new year resolutions for 2004....
1) be more gracious to mom
2) get over fear of driving and drive
3) be more understanding
4) be less emotional
5) change of attitude towards my father
6) change of attitude towards school - need motivation
7) dont take things personally
8) be more concerned about family time
9) be more concerned than i am about grades
10) be focused on what i want to do in life
11) have fun being a senior come fall
12) lose weight
13) get a job... just maybe
14) go back to riding, i really should
15) talk to ker more... shes great
16) be more open minded
17) be more decisive
18) be more independent
19) dont care as much about some things that arent worth caring about
20) to know what the hell im doing once and a while...
21) whatever show im in - give it my all or else
22) sing all the time.... im still developing my voice... im just going to watch it grow. and not tell myself "wow em, you arent all state quality so why the fuck are you singing...." not doing that... im going to do it cause i love it and because there are people who enjoy my voice...
23) be more of a leader
24) DONT WORRY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! - yeah, ill try shut up
Personal belief on progress
1. semi check
2. check plus
3. semi check
4. 1/2 check
5. almost check
6. check minus
7. 1/4 check
8. 1/2 check
9. 1/4 check
10. semi check
11. check minus minus minus.... i just fail at this one.
12. check minus.. yet people said i lost weight???
13. check.. well for the summer at least i did
14. check minus.. wish i did
15. check plus.. i love her
16. 1/4 check
17. check minus
18. 1/4 check
19. 1/2 check
20. almost check
21. semi check..
22. here i just fail... check minus minus minus minus
23. check
24. almost full check
questions???
comments???
criticisms???
agreements???
let me know por favor.
i'll be putting this new years up soon. since ill be home alone with my parents... grrr |
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| 09:20pm 29/12/2004 |
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Have you:
[] been drunk.
[] smoked pot.
[X] kissed a member of the opposite sex.
[X] kissed a member of the same sex.
[X] rode in a taxi.
[X] rode the subway.
[X] been dumped.
[] shoplifted.
[ ] been fired.
[X] been in a fist fight.
[ ] had sex.
[ ] had a threesome
[ ] snuck out of your parent's house.
[ ] been arrested.
[kinda haha ] made out with a stranger.
[ ] stole something from your job.
[ ] celebrated new years in times square.
[X] went on a blind date.
[X] lied to a friend.
[ ] had a crush on a teacher.
[ ] celebrated mardi-gras in new orleans.
[X- Ireland kinda??? ] been to Europe.
[ ] skipped school.
[ ] thrown up from drinking.
[ ] lost your sibling.
[X - like the game right?] played 'clue'.
[X] had a sleepover party. (i used to call them "fight over" parties hah)
[X] went ice skating.
[X] been cheated on.
[ ] had a quinceanera. (i don't know what that is.)
[X] drove illegally.
Do you...
[X] have a bf.
[ ] have a gf.
[ ] have a crush.
[X ] feel loved.
[ ] feel lonely.
[X] feel happy.
[X ] hate yourself.
[ ] have a dog.
[X] have your own room.
[X ] listen to rap.
[X] listen to rock.
[X ] listen to soul.
[] listen to techno.
[ ] listen to reggae/ska.
[ ] listen to heavy metal
[X ] paint your nails.
[X ] have more than 1 best friend.
[X] get good grades.
[X ] play an instrument.
[X] have slippers.
[X] wear boxers.
[X] wear underwear in general
[X] wear thongs.
[X] like the color blue.
[X ] like the color yellow.
[ ] cyber.
[ ] claim.
[X] like to read.
[X] like to write.
[X ] have long hair.
[ ] have short hair.
[X] have a cell phone.
[X] have a laptop.
[ ] have a pager.
Are you...
[X] happy.
[ ] bilingual.
[X] white.
[ ] black.
[ ] mexican.
[ ] asian.
[ ] short.
[ X] tall.
[X ] grounded.
[ ] sick.
[ X] a virgin.
[ ] single.
[X] taken.
[ ] talking to someone.
[ ] IMing someone.
[ ] scared to die
[X] sleepy.
[X] annoyed.
[ ] hungry.
[ ] thirsty.
[ ] on the phone.
[ ] drinking something.
[ ] eating something.
[ ] ticklish.
[ ] listening to music.
[ ] homophobic.
[ ] racist.
A - Age: 17
B - Band listening to now: None
C - Career in future: teacher
D - Dad's name: Ed
E - Easiest person to talk to: Heath, Will or my sister
F - Favorite band at the moment: hmmm dashboard or jimmy eat world
G - Gummy Bears or Gummy Worms: either
H - Hometown: elkton
I - Instruments: piano and guitar (kinda)
K - Kids: definately
L - Longest Car Ride: uhhh 14 hours or more??? to MI
M - Mom's name: Colleen
N - Number of siblings: 1
P - Phobia[s]: kinda heights.. not extreme though
Q - Favorite Quote: have tons
R - Reason to smile: the kids are in bed... no whining
S - Song you sang last: baby its cold outside. damn i miss him.
T - Time you wake up: 8 43
V - Vegetable you hate: couliflower
W - Worst habit: being extremely hyper and then get all depressed yet im not bipolar????
X - X-rays you've had: chest..
Y - Yummy food: anything actually worth the calories
Z - Zodiac sign: taurus/ gemini - im may 21st
Have You Ever
Been kissed: Yeah
Done drugs: no
Eaten an entire box of Oreos: over a period of time.
Eaten sushi: no
Been on stage: Yuppers... my life yet not.
Been in a car accident: yes... biker ran into our car.. it was shady
This or That
Cold or Hot: hot
Blue or Red: red
Rain or Snow: rain to be out in, snow to look at... well overall RAIN
Wool or Cotton: hmmm depends
Private or Public School: private
Chocolate or Plain Milk: depends with what meal.. by itself def chocolate
Celsius or Farenheit: Fahrenheit
Spring or Fall: spring
Science or History: History yet im taking 2 sciences this year and no history... im insane
Math or English: uhhh this year... english
"Love Life"
Do you like somebody?: Yeah.. the love
Do they know?: oh yes
Do you want them?: uh huh
Are they hot?: to me yes siree
Random
Who do you e-mail the most? hmmm actually i dont really talk to anyone a lot via email... wish i did
Who do you IM the most? heath???
Who are you talking to now? Nobody
Are you currently in love?: well. sigh.... yes
Is this survey lame? nope
In 24 hours have you...
...Showered?: ya
...Had a serious talk?: no
...Hugged someone?: yes... the cousins.. tucking them in
...Gotten along with your parents?: ya..yet grr
...Fought with a friend?: no
...Done something kind for someone?: yea
Do You Like To...
Give hugs?: YUP
Give back rubs?: yeah to special people haha
Take walks in the rain?: extremely much so
Cook?: at times
Eat?: ya
Sleep?: oh yes
Who?
..Knows you the best?: heather or will
..Have you known the longest?: dan or chris bell
..Do you know the most about?: out of everyone??? my sister i guess maybe???? want to know yall better!
..Do you consider your friend?: they know who they are
..Is most likely to end up in jail?: hmmm i dont know
..Can you go to with your problems?: heath
..Do you want to get to know better?: everyone... but mainly a few special people that i need to tell them that like sarah trotta and katelyn
..Do you spend the most time with?: kerry and will
Have You...
..Been to a concert?: Yes
..Loved someone so much it made you cry?: oh my, and you're asking me haha
..Cheated on a test?: probably
..Ever stalked someone?: not that is heather's job
..Done something you regret?: yes
Name: emily
Single or taken: taken :0)
Sex: f
Birthday: may 21
Siblings: 1
Hair color: light brown
Eye color: brown
Height: 5'5
RELATIONSHIPS
Are you straight/bisexual/gay?: Straight.
You have a boyfriend/girlfriend? yup, will
What is your longest relationship?: 9 months straight but something that has been off and on for a period of time... dating 2 years
What was your shortest relationship? probably like a week thing in middle school LOL
SPECIFICS
Do you do drugs?: no
What kind of shampoo do you use?: halo - LOVE IT. smells amazing
What are you listening to right now: none
What are you most scared of?: change... yeah this year will be a killer for me
Who is the last person that called you?: will haha
Where do you want to get married?: beach or white gazebo with red roses winding around it.... or a gorgeous church
How many buddies are online right now?: idk.. not online
What would you change about yourself?: how open i am with people... how social i am with everyone. i develop a relationship with tons of people and then i cant develop anything extremely serious friendship wise because i go from person to person... it kills me.
FAVS
Colors: white, black, red, yellow, blue
Foods: bread spaghetti salad
Subjects in school: sigh i dont have one this year thanks to my fucked up schedule
Animals: horses, dogs, elephants
HAVE I EVER...
Given anyone a bath?: kids
Smoked?: noo
Bungee jumped?: No
Made yourself throw up?: nope.. tried but no
Skinny dipped?: no... almost HAHAH
Been in love?: yes
Made yourself cry to get out of trouble?: ya
Cried when someone died?: when anyone does.. that i know or if i hear a background story
Lied: yeah
Been rejected?: oh yeah
Rejected someone?: Ya
Used someone?: not really
Done something you regret?: yeah
RIGHT NOW
Annoyance: this freaking iguana at my aunts house that is scaring the crap out of me when it moves... its freaking huge and its in a cage but god its ugly
Desktop picture: not my computer.. but mine at home. me and will from homecoming haha
CD in player: dane cook.. just bought the cd today LOL
DVD in player: we just took out the emperor's new groove... great movie
NUMBERS
Of times I have had my heart broken: once
Of hearts I have broken: lol major problems. haha remember that one time with someone who was obsessed with me... i gotta laugh
Of guys I've kissed: whoa... this would probably be in the high teens or beginning 20s HAHA.. SLUT
Of girls I've kissed: one
Of CD's I own: 150ish??
Of scars on my body: one that i can seriously think of
Of things that I regret: whoa uhhh idk.. 8 maybe
FIRSTS
First best friend: Alex.. she was my best friend... we were so close
First car: 99 toyota celica convertible
First screen name: haha the one i have
First self purchased CD: hmmm ace of base!!! lol
First pets: Barney, the collie and tigger, the cat
First piercing/tattoo: and only... ears in 1st grade. i want my belly or nose pierced... IDEAS?????
LASTS
Last cigarette: never
Last car ride: to get to the texas house
Last good cry: hmmm i wouldnt know
Last library book checked out: uhhh ooo heart on my sleeve.. it was pretty good
Last kiss: will
Last crush: will sigh. it was cute
Last phone call: will saying how this one lady smelled like love spell in front of him today and he was upset it wasnt me
Last time showered: this morning
Last shoes worn: sneakers
Last song played: feels like home to me
Last item bought: uhhh the dane cook cd
Last annoyance: the kids whining/ fighting
Last shirt worn: old navy blue over thingy
Last website visited: www.blurty.com lol
Last word/s you said: okayyyyy whatever
Last song you sang: baby its cold outside
What color of underwear are you wearing? orange LOL
What's under your bed?: my drawings... storage stuff.. joey box LOL LOL 9th grade baby, oh and about 5 stuffed animals from boys that pined for me LOL
What time did you wake up today?: 8 43
FUTURE
Where do you want to go? italy. australia
What is your career going to be? teacher or something
Where are you going to live? TEXASSSSSSS
How many kids do you want? 3
What kind of car(s): a nice big SUV and then a sports car
CURRENT
Current mood: sleepy
Current music: none
Current taste: bleh
Current hair: messy bun
Current clothes: jeans, tank top and hoodie
Current annoyance(s): the iguana LOL
Current book: my freaking ap bio book.. it can burn in hell
Current hate: ap bio... lol can you tell????
UNIQUE
1. Nervous Habits? stampering... like not finding the right words and being like UHH
2. Are you double jointed? no
3. Can you roll your tongue? yup
4. Can you raise one eyebreow at a time? only can do that to one
5. Can you blow spit bubbles? uhh havent tried
6. Can you cross your eyes? uh huh
7. Tattoos? no
8. Piercings and where? ears
9. Do you make your bed daily? i guess
CLOTHES
10. Which shoe goes on first? whichever
11. Speaking of shoes, have you ever thrown one at anyone? duh
12. On the average, how much money do you carry in your wallet? is no average with me... jsut gotta live with the credit card too
13. What jewelry do you wear 24/7? awww makes me sad.. my grandmother's engagement ring. class ring and cross necklace usually
14. Favorite piece of clothing? underwear and bras... i just love all the different types LOL.. victoria secret hear i come with the semi annual sale around the corner
FOOD
15. Do you twirl your spaghetti or cut it? usually cut
16. Have you ever eaten Spam? no
17. Favorite ice cream flavor? banana or coffee or choc chip cookie dough
18. Favorite candy treat? hmm idk. gum drops or jelly beans or sour anythign
19. Ideal bagel? salt with cream cheese
20. How many cereals in your cabinet? not at home.. nothing really exciting i think |
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| 08:43pm 29/12/2004 |
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my entry was erased... mother freaker
main idea:
ive talked to will everday since he's been gone.
i love him...realized that while he's away.
is it bad that i care about him and i didnt put a guard up even though all the stuff that happened with dylan????
is it bad that i love will?
comment.
thanks. |
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| 10:33pm 23/12/2004 |
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Man, hope this entry isn't extremely long but i have enough to talk about. but tonite it's in chronological order.
Last night as i was lying in bed after reading for about an hour... it was like 11 30 i get a call on my cell. I check to see who it is and OMG! it said Will's cell i was like hmmmm so i pick up and he was like "HEY" im like "hiiii are you okay?" and he was like "well i just wanted to call you and tell you i really miss you. And im looking at your picture right now and my head is on your pillow and im listening to the mix you made." i think i died right then ladies and gentlemen... better part... "oh and i wanted to really just tell you that i really really really really like you. i'm like at your level Em". hahaha it was the best feeling in the world. he is soooo cute.
oh and he just called me again today... FOR THE SECOND TIME TODAY THAT IS!!!!!!!!!! and i thought i wasn't going to talk to him while he was away!!! hahaha. i have this boy whipped but its soooooo cute.
i'll write more later, he has free minutes so hes calling back... holler
pray for my grandmom
visited her today and it was sooo heartwrenching for me. i cant even describe it. i'll talk about it later |
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| grrr gonna miss him. can't wait til the 2nd... |
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| 10:21pm 22/12/2004 |
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mood:  drained music: Baby its cold outside.
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Updating to talk about a few things... and i shall do so, like Alli because it's hot. and we are hot.. so we do hot things!
1. want to talk about today. didn't do much besides clean the room, go to dance practice, get stuck in stupid traffic - 50 mins to will's house, seeing will, and going to church practice, and then coming home, changing and going out to eat at applebee's with chris.
2. goodbyes are so hard.... it was tough im not kidding you. i gave him like huge hugs and he gave me tons of kisses. it was cute... minus the sad part... to the point will was like "em you gotta get in your car and leave, this is too hard.".. and then he wouldnt let me go... I started crying when i left. hahah he's the biggest dork though he was like EM YOU GOTTA SPRAY THE PILLOW with love spell!!! haha it was pitiful. And he took both of the mixes with him. and 2 pictures down to FL. It was weird saying goodbye. I'm worried things are just going to change when he comes back. Things have just been seriously better than they've ever been the past 2 weeks... no arguements, no stupid mistakes, nothing bad! just worried... but i cant be right? itll all be great when he comes home... god i cant wait. The thing that sucks the most i think is knowing that i won't even get to talk to him for a week and a half.... like i know he wont call and well thats kinda like a known fact so its okay. but im worried with everything with my grandmother and its like my best friend isn't going to be there for me... if that makes any sense.
3. seeing my grandmother tomorrow for the first time in like 3 months. its going to be so freaking hard. I've never really visited anyone in the hospital that had an oxygen tube and all that. its going to be a rude awakening to the real world. I'm so freaking nervous i could throw up.
4. going to the neurologist tomorrow... yeah long story but the brain spasm things are like gone now... since wills been a part of my life. that's the weird thing. I think its all stress related... same thing with the panic attack or whatever that was.
5. texas... its right around the corner!!!!! i'm so excited to see my family and all the cousins... god they are amazing. oo and go riding!!!! holler!
6. watched show boat today. pretty good... but god it was a depressing musical.
7. im emotionally drained.....
8. i feel like reading so im going to go do that.
comment yall.
ewwww. realizing even if he comes home the 2nd... probably not early enough to come to church... so i wont see him til hmmmm the 5th?? or he might come to the 4th game... eww two full fucking weeks!!!!!!
here we go... |
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| say some prayers |
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| 10:20pm 21/12/2004 |
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mood:  worried music: Into the woods soundtrack
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Grandmom went into surgery at 9PM tonite because they found out she broke her hip from her fall on sunday. It's kinda scary since they were pondering what to do since shes 92. and how the surgery would be good but then how long is she gonna live and all that. Shes an amazing person. Shes out of t now.. has been for a few years but when her life story is the best. She is one of my role models and if you guys look on my left hand i have her engagement ring on at all times from the 1930s when she eloped with her husband. i wrote my college essay on her.
well, what else is going on? yesterday was stupid during the day because i didn't do much of anything. I was supposed to hang out with joe but he ditched me i guess. I ended up making Will's mix which was super cute with:
1. Rich girl - hall and oates
2. Ice cream - sarah maclaughlan
3. love shack
4. ive got the world on a string
5. you're nobody til somebody loves you
6. the first time ever i saw your face
7. hmmmm i dont remember the order HAHAHA. but there was norah jones, dashboard, feeling left out, edwin mccain, and other stuff
best one i think on the cd was: Feels like home to me. i like cry every time i hear it. oh and baby its cold outside
I went to will's after my lesson on monday since he had work. SO i went there and ma was like come home at 11 30 so i was really happy to hang out with will. I was over there from 7 30 til 11 and we just chilled and cuddled and talked listening to the mix about 3 times. He was super cute.
speak of the devil he just called me. ha and when i said hello he started playing from his mix - Baby its cold outside - which is like OUR SONG. haha. he really just made me feel a lot better. he told everyone at the church party to pray for my grandmother. I cant wait to see will tomorrow. minus the fact tomorrow is the last day in a long time. I'm worried about all that but im not. like im not worried hes going to find someone else or something but that he'll have this revelation like he did last time which will be this whole thing how he cant have a girlfriend now and all that. but he promised me that things werent going to change so im trusting him. it was cute i told him i was coming over at 4 30 and he was like you cant come any sooner???? i was like SWEETHEARTTTT
haha sigh
well yeah but monday night, last night was awesome just hanging out and it was just overall a really good night. MINUS THE FREAKIN PAYBACK HICKEY I GOT... roar. it was pretty funny though. im just happy that he liked his mix OH and i let him borrow my pillow that i made and i sprayed it with love spell due to his request and he died LOL
today was pretty good. i did a lot of chores and finished CAMP... what an odd movie! omg dance team was awesome because we did some of the rap which is the best. especially how seductive i am haha lili makes fun of me.
tomorrow's schedule:
Cleaning the room
watching 1776 and show boat
finishing laundry
doing some knitting
doing some ap bio
going to old navy
going to dance team practice
going to will's
going to church rehearsal
coming home.
well i better get some sleep to be able to get stuff done tomorrow.
love you all. please pray for my grandmother. |
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| i love him times 12 |
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| 08:59am 20/12/2004 |
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what an awesome weekend. minus a few things but overall it was great.
Friday
SADD movie night - we were all excited. no one really watched the movie but it was cool cause i got to talk to people i love.
left early from that cause i had to get some sleep before the sunrise with Will saturday morning
Saturday
woke up at 5 15. kept the pjs on and hopped in the car and took the back way (i was so proud of myself) in the dark to his house and was there by 6AM. lol i felt sooo stupid tapping on his window but yes i did, thank god his light was already on. then he came out and hugged me and went and got his stuff while i took a mini snooze en el coche. so will gets in and he had my present that was in this huge box and im like what the... it was hilarious cause he kept saying it was fragile and im like what is this thing. So anyways we're in the car and we couldnt figure out where to go and hes like hey just how about staying at church. While we stayed in the church parking lot for awhile and we could see light but dude the sun wasn't coming up from there. SOOOO we gave up by 7 10 and decided to go back to my house... Where of course at my house there was a perfect view of the sunrise. We tiptoed into my house... ma was up though and we went into the sun room and cuddled on the couch for a bit. it was super cute. Then the rents left to do some errands so we chilled cause then we were awake. then they came home and will made breakfast - well just eggs, but still it was adorable. and then we all sat and ate and will said grace and it almost made me cry ( i know im such an emotional freak). Well we lounged around for a bit in my room and talked and put on cds. and then we decided to get our day started and take showers and what not. So we did, then we were trying to figure out somewhere awesome to go. We were like BORDERS... so we ended up going to the one near him so we could just chill and his house after some shopping. Went into J crew. some good stuff but god its so expensive. I need billy to just buy me everything with his discount. borders was funny, will was in a weird mood so we were a little grrr but it was okay. i read him my fav kids book - "click clack moo, cows can type" its the best.... im debating if i should change my voicemail to just me saying one of the random pages from the book.
then we went over to his house for a bit which was tons of fun and then i left around 5.
went home, talked to chris bell. went out with him and got a sucky milkshake from charcoal pit i was freakin disappointed. and we went into kmart which was hilarious. Minus that stupid guy saying "are you two a couple?" and that got chris started. it was realllllly annoying after awhile cause im like okay well im not changing anything because i really like who im with right now! roar. so we werent exactly peachy... but we ended up being fine. but i was home by 7 30
i called ryan and he wanted to see how i drove my car. well that asshole was terrible. I was driving and everything and he would do stupid shit to freak me out. like he does when he has me in the car. So listen everyone HE PUT HIS HANDS OVER MY EYES WHEN I WAS MAKING A FREAKING TURN!!!!!!! i flipped.. i was so freaking pissed. i was like "im taking you home right now... you dont even think about doing that to someone." soooo haha i took him home. He was in the car for 20 mins and i took him home. Im seriously fed up with his fucking bull shit and how all he talks about is himself.... and whats going on in his life and never asking about mine. Then i feel bad saying that because maybe he just needs someone to talk to and get everything out but seriously im not his counselor.. he should at least have more respect for me.. grrr. Yeah dont know if i'll want to talk to him for the rest of break.
SUnday
found out my grandmother thats 92 had fallen i think getting up from the bathroom or something cause shes usually in a wheelchair but she hit the back of her head and had to have staples put in which i couldnt even think about having done to me. Ker and i wanted to get out of the house and have sissy bonding time sooo we went to the mall. bought stuff from express and abercrombie - only spending 10 dollars since i had a mall gift card... my sweater from Abercrombie was only 29.50 so i was happy. Now i just have to work out for the next few weeks to have it look really good on me.
then i came home worked on ap bio. and was going to go to the stupid a cappella thing but louden cancelled it, thank god! and i got to church!!!!!! i had a grand old time since it was just hilarious. read this:
Will comes up to me and he has on the performance fleece i gave him and says "great job on the neck babe"
im like "what??"
will: "em you gave me a hickey!"
me: OMG. are you serious?
will unzippers the fleece: yup
me: oh wow.
then he told me how his parents saw it first and omg it was soooo funny. i can only laugh about it, im not really that embarrassed cause i know his parents arent really pissed.
dude the COVE last night was hilarious!!!! we had this game that these people had to put a latex glove over their head and had to pop it by blowing into it through their nose. IT was soooooo funny..... jon like died doing it and someone popped it for him when he wasnt looking. hahaha and then he was sooo scared it popped and eww snot was coming out of his nose. it was sooo funny though. same thing with will beating jon up who is like a pipsqueak. it was great.
didnt get to sit with him at church but it was all good cause i sat next to him for caroling. and then im supposed to be hanging out with him today. last day ill see him before he leaves so if he doesnt have work he wants me over from 3 to 11. we will see how that works with the rents.
ill post more later.
love you all |
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